"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness"
A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
I'm Fiona, and I'm 23. When I was younger I thought I'd hit my twenties and I would be a grown up. Mortgage. Taxes. Coffee. I have zero of those things. When my mum was my age she was married and would be one short year from giving birth to the best person in her life (I'm the favourite, shut up siblings) and when I was young I wanted to be just like my mum but I realise now I am no where near responsible enough to accomplish what my mum did. I am far from being a grown up in general and as I was lying in bed one morning I had this post idea so I'm sharing it, even though I'm petrified about publishing it.
1. You will cringe for eternity at your younger self
But at least we can laugh about it, right? It was just bad haircuts, underage shannengans and poor life decisions. Can I get an L-O-L.
2. You're supposed to have your life figured out
Hello human, in your 20 years of life you've swallowed a lot of academic information, only really experienced one or two working environments and actually can't remember a good 85% of what you did. Welcome to life outside! Now we'd like you to be in your perfect life long career, be stable emotionally, mentally and physically and it would be a total bonus if you could find a life long partner too.
3. It's highly unlikely that you will roly poly out of school/college/university into your dream job
You wanted to be an astronaut when you grow up? Son, they start recruiting way before now for that and you need to shoot lasers from your eyes - but hey that degree in Fine Art was a super choice! Obviously you did three years of it so must be committed to that choice you made at 17. Being adaptable was so Dark Ages. Stick at it even though loads of people your age and older are going for the same thing, it's like a million to one out there. May the odds be ever in your favour.
4. There probably isn't a dream job out there
You're such a special little fish in this sea except this sea is huge, ginormous, gargantuan, and the chances of you getting that job where you essentially do nothing but get paid probably doesn't exist.
5. Everyone else is getting married or having kids
Wooooah, too much responsibility. Last week I put a biscuit between bread for lunch and now you want me to be responsible? For another human being to depend on me? That will not end well.
6. How do you even make new friends?
Like, walk up to them, crayon in hand, and ask if they want to draw a picture or play imaginary space pirates? How do you talk to another human being? I can't even.
7. What you thought was a lot of money isn't a lot of money
Oh cool, you saved up a few hundred and your ready to face to big wide world? Jump in to that head first and feel the wrath of crippling debt, yours sincerely, every long term money commitment thing ever.
8. But then, what you thought was a lot of money is actually SO much money
You're ready to leave the nest and live on your own? Cute. As well as paying rent you'll have to pay gas, electric, internet (yeah that's not free), Netflix, food so don't go making any other big plans, kay? We really want to suck all the money from your bank even though you're just on minimum wage and trying to pay off university debts and all that jazz.
9. Your body will fail you
You're not a spring noodle anymore. There will be crushing tiredness, spots and acne (yeah, not just for teens, they want to see how you are in the next phase of life too) maybe even back pain. You'll have to start taking vitamins and eating vegetables to look out for number one.
10. Everything sucks but you aren't alone
There is no life course or "Life for Dummies" book that can help us along, so we make mistakes and have our hearts broken and get too old to do all sorts of shit, not like it stops us. Luckily there are loads of people in the same boat so try to make the best of it and smile, cutie, we'll get through it.
Of course, maybe that's just me. Have anymore to add? I'd love to hear them, leave them in the comments below or tweet me.